How Not To Be A Pushy Parent

In an effort to make their child “the best” parents can, in fact, be pushy or, as you put it, ‘borderline abusive’.  I have seen firsthand how parents can push their children to do it better, longer and with more passion than their peers. It makes me wonder: who is it for? Do the parents feel that their children will have a better life later on if they succeed in certain areas as a child? Maybe it is a fear that they won’t appear to be involved if their child is doing poorly in school or their extracurricular activities? Regardless of what the parent’s motives are, this type of pushy parenting can only make a child feel insecure about their abilities and unsupported by the people they strive to impress the most.

The solution? Outsourcing. In a world where parents are trying to raise little executives and worry about how their child looks on paper, it is no wonder that an effective method would be to take a page from the book of a fortune 500 company. Just as a successful company might reach out to a specialist for a specific project, there are a growing number of families doing just that. Parents are looking for ways to give their children an advantage and to make them stand out as being exceptional; or at least better than average. As you have mentioned, parents can reach out to a tutor to give them the individualized attention they need to succeed academically. This professionally driven method is a great way to show their child that they are positively supporting them by outsourcing a specialist. No negative or overbearing comments needed. The child gets the help that they need while the parent is showing their support by taking the time to invest in their success.

Another way that parents are giving their children an edge is by creating a culturally diverse environment. By welcoming an Au Pair into their home, they are expanding their cultural aptitude, which will open many doors for them as they enter into today’s job market. With kids getting out of school and competing for jobs, knowing another language and understanding another culture can give them a huge advantage. As the Au Pair Sis for Go Au Pair, I have been connecting with Au Pairs in this cultural child care program to understand what advantages parents can give to their children by hosting an Au Pair.

Caroline, an Au Pair from Brazil has shared her culture with her young Host Kids. She can have a conversation in Portuguese with the family’s 2 year old daughter. In her video interview, Caroline says, “It’s a rich exchange of culture and experience.” In another video interview, Claire from China mostly speaks Chinese because it is important for the Host Mom that the kids learn to speak the language and about the Chinese culture. Claire also shares her Chinese cooking with the family. They love the food and ask her how she makes it so that they can learn to make it as well.

There are many more effective ways to encourage children to strive and do their best that have less to do with forcing them to try harder and more to do with giving them the tools they need to succeed. This is the type of effective parenting that will work. For a family that is interested in learning more about the Au Pair cultural exchange program, they can visit our website at

As the Au Pair Sis for Go Au Pair, Janine Snyder has been connecting with Au Pairs (international young adult nannies) and offering them support throughout their journey. She has conducted more than 50 interviews with Au Pairs and has put together a variety of videos, best practices and tips for incoming Au Pairs, as well as an interactive and fun online community for more seasoned Au Pairs to share their thoughts about their experiences. In addition, she provides ongoing support and advice to help her Au Pairs maximize their cultural exchange experience and enhance the quality of childcare they provide for their Host Families. Janine is a former professional nanny and has worked with many families in their home. She is a stepmother and recently gave birth to a son. You can also follow Janine and Au Pair Sis on Google+.